A little late to share my 2018 resolutions. But, I hadn’t thought of any resolution that might be different from others that I had set in past years. So, I read a post that I wrote at the end of 2016. I noticed that I had very simple New Year resolutions for 2017 which barely became true. I thought of how to justify my inability to achieve them. Maybe it was because I was too busy at work. Perhaps, I had a lot of projects which kept me quite busy. But, it was a regular year. I worked hard as usual.
Then, what did I really do? I just wasn’t feeling motivated to do a change. I wrapped myself with this blanket of discomfort and apathy to consummate any promise that I had committed to fulfill. So, should I blame myself for letting every negative vibe that invaded and infected me to keep from achieving any goal? Or, should I blame those around me who brought those negative vibes?
Before thinking of the different reasons why I wasn’t able to fulfill any goal, I started listing people’s names who could have, at certain extent, dragged me out of my path of self-improvement. Why did I do it? They were there, but it doesn’t mean they twist my arm and clean the floor with me while they towed me through their road of despair and negativity.
Perhaps, hanging with the wrong crowd derailed me to succeed at anything that I had promise myself to achieve. I believe that negative people are very powerful when it comes to pass on their negativity to you. Most of my days, I spent my spare time with some workmates who were not really happy with their working situation. I wasn’t either, but I knew that I needed to get the best out of the situation. Although, it was burdensome to listen to the constant wining of other people.
On the other hand, I’m the only one to blame at the end. Plain and simple.
Therefore, for this 2018, I have a different approach. Rather than setting a list of different goals, I will only resolve myself to achieve one thing: Don’t let other people and my inner saboteur get in my way.
There are a lot of things I’ve always set myself to accomplish year after year. Some of them, I have been to get them done because I really made the impossible possible: not to pay attention to what other people say. Nonetheless, it seems that I haven’t been able to commit to anything lately. So, by committing to one single resolution, I believe that I will be able to carry out anything I would think of doing as the year goes by.
Obviously, committing to just that goal doesn’t mean that it’s going to be the only thing that I will do all year long. Not letting others and my saboteur interfere means that I will be able to kill more than two birds with one stone.
When I tried to think how my inner saboteur has played an important component for refraining myself, I came up with long list: procrastination, depression, doubt, laziness, anxiety, anger, stubbornness, pride, arrogance, selfishness and quite more (thinking this through, I just realized that I have a lot of birds to kill). The common denominator, which all of them have, is the simple fact that I was my own and only enemy.
The road for prevailing over the constant shadow of my self-doubt will be long, 365 days long. The only powers that I possess are the opportunity of waking each morning up, the ability to breathe life into my body and the reminder of having fought again for my survival before. Those are the powers, which I have, that can encourage me to stay strong every single day.
Consequently, this year, I have decided to fight my daily inner saboteur. I’m going to wake up every single day feeling delightful about the life that we have. I’m going to step out of my comfort zone and feel the need to do something different. I’m going to take back my power and live better than I used to years ago. This might be the Year of the Dog based on the Chinese Calendar, but I’m going to turn this year into My Year.
May You Read Me? 