In my family, I’m the eldest. Yuppy! What an honor it is to become the first parenting experiment of my progenitors. Nothing can top that when chitchatting with my friends and new acquaintances at parties about what a good job my parents made with me and everything they didn’t do with my unappreciative siblings.
Some facts: Birth: June 6th, 1980. 12:00 am. On Friday. I know that because my boyfriend and I had the sudden inquiry of being in possession of that curious fact: what day were we born?
Anyway! Being the eldest, of course, comes with a series of perks which sometimes might actually transform into a set of unfortunate events which one winds up for the mere entitlement of having been born first. What a joyous day it was when such realization hit me!
Today, at noon, was the perfect moment to remember how lucky I am. But, before continuing my tantrum, I must officially confess, that spite of any unintended sarcasm that you will come across with in this post, I do feel fortunate of being part of this family. I love my mom, my dad and siblings. The dysfunction of my beloved domestic circle provides inspiration and survival skills for future–perhaps unsolicited–ventures.
Back to the point, at noon, my mom and dad came back from running errands uptown. I was sleeping when they left. When I wake up, I usually ask my mom how she is feeling. So, I asked her and she replied back giving me the look: I-am-sick-of-your-father-childish-rants look. I knew I was in for a flood of typical accusations, which are always true, against my father’s lack of character and empathy.
I listened to her attentively as I always do. I tried to cheer her up, with no favorable outcome. Though, I kept pushing to persuade her to do what she wanted. My mom loves playing Bingo. I don’t know what it is about Bingo, but it relaxes her and entertains her. So, I asked if there was any bingo being held today. She said there were a few but she didn’t want to go to any of them
Obviously, she made her decision after my father raved about the slightest and insignificant things while driving back home.
Therefore, after listening to her, I had to play the role of the little devil in her shoulder, luring her into going to this bingo and stopped falling for my father’s mind games. It took me around an hour to convince her but she made up her mind and asked to take her there.
Being the eldest child means that I need to become the side of reasoning to my mom and the antagonist of my dad. I got bestowed with the dirty job of intervening for the sake of my mom’s peace of mind whenever she feels she can’t do anything she wants because of avoiding any retaliation from my dad later.
I do not find it difficult to side with my mom because my dad hasn’t ever been easy to deal with (there is an explanation discusses in this post). However, not having been married, I always stumble on solving the problems of someone else’s marriage. Besides, I am the only one, among my sibling, who my mother comes for solace. Even if I’m at home or at my apartment. I always get the job of finding a solution to any dispute my parents have had.
I guess that the moral is take good care of your eldest child, because one day anyone will need an ally and a bad influencer.