Family Feud

On Thursday, my mom went to visit my grandmother. She’s been sick, so she wanted to go and check on her. I joined her on Friday since I had some homework to do, which I haven’t finished so I preferred to stay at home.

While I was there, I shared with some of my aunts. They are pretty cool, but they are not easy to get along with among them. I have seven aunts just on my mother’s side. I’ve learned a lot about their dynamic through the years. We don’t live close. So, family drama is not something I’m usually aware of. But when I come to visit them, I totally enjoy hearing their stories about their dramas. While being there,  I got to listen to some of their latest family drama stories. I drew as a conclusion that no matter how old someone is, they tend to behave as children.

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For instance, the eldest of my aunts has restrained from having any connection or proximity with any family members from her nuclear or extended family because she wasn’t invited to accompany another aunt of mine and a cousin, who has become my grandmother’s caretaker, to a doctor’s appointment my grandmother had. That was five months ago. Since then, she has not visited my grandmother, who has been sick and is a 90-year-old woman.

Similarly, another aunt, who is my second oldest aunt,  doesn’t come to visit my grandmother as long as an aunt, who lives with my grandmother, continues living with her. They had a strong misunderstanding around  May. One said to the other certain things regarding her staying at my grandma’s. She implied that my aunt is living there to steal food and other supplies to give them to my cousins who are very good at keeping their life together.

Nobody wants my second’s oldest aunt to take care of my grandmother. She is unemployed and her only child is a grown-up, married woman, who doesn’t need much her mother regarding money or attention. So, she is the perfect pick to be my grandmother’s caretaker. However, during a few months she was taking care of her, she would lock every door and window, keeping my grandmother out of reach from any daughter or grandchild who might come to visit. This aunt of mine would simply suggest that my grandmother was too sick to see anyone. And, we all knew she wasn’t that sick.

When she was told my cousin would take care of my grandma from that moment on, she got so mad she didn’t visit my grandmother for months. It wasn’t a big loss since my aunt has a natural talent to get under everybody’s nerves.

Finally, my third oldest aunt, who thinks she is the most successful aunt of all, have had plenty drama among my aunts, she implied that everybody should be more preoccupied concerning my grandmother’s health and visit more often. Even though her idea didn’t sound bad, she is the one who rarely visits and assists my grandma. This went beyond the family’s WhatsApp group, upsetting everyone, my grandma included.

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Why have my aunts become so deft that they only tend to their whims without considering the wellbeing of an elder woman?

I think that the older you get the least receptive to other people’s needs and opinions you become. I guess it happens because we, adults, have acquired the title to make decisions without being questioned. The more decisions we make our sense of ownership grows stronger. Despite how bad the decision was, I believe we are sure it was for the best.

When it comes to dealing with people’s personalities, I ponder that we don’t need to accept other people who don’t match a standard we have regarding friendship or affinity. We basically dispose, with no remorse, whoever is not of our liking. So, when it comes to family, we threw away any blood bond we have because of the lack of empathy and fondness. Blood is not thicker than water anymore.

We become opinionated and stubborn. We’ve had our wins and misses. Because of that, life has taught us, with some tough love, lessons which have made us better. Well, that’s what we think. When it comes to making decisions, we turned into a house of representatives trying to push others to agree with our agenda and stand by it.

What I basically learned was the different family feuds are basically foolish tantrums an aunt threw over something she wasn’t spoiled on. Meaning, The older we get the more stubborn we become.

I’d talked of my aunt mainly, because my uncles are not very participative in the decision making, which shows a lack of commitment or stubbornness as well.

 

 

 

 

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