This morning, I read a post from a blog which Facebook thought I might be interested in reading. I don’t recall to have liked this particular blog or have clicked to follow. Since, I was having breakfast–I love reading while I eat something–, I took some spare minutes to read the post. It was the typical post about celebrities who don’t want to be outed, but they are doing for us anyways.
What bothered me about the post–besides the fact that people are still treating ‘outing’ someone as a thing–, was one remark that was made about a celebrity. It read something like this, he has been acting gay recently (I thought of quoting the exact line, but I don’t want to provide any more credit to the hominid piece).
What is it to act like a gay man? I’ve been a gay man since my memories allow me to remember. At certain extent, people find it easy to categorize me as a gay man because of the different mannerism that I possess. So, I believe that when they think of the way a gay man should act is by showcasing the mannerisms that I have and some others. I guess that I answered my question right there.
On the other hand, there are tons of gay men who don’t display those mannerism so naturally as others do, such as my boyfriend. He is the butchest guy I’ve ever dated. When acquaintances meet him, they think that I’m joking. When that happens, he is the one to tell everyone that he is gay and I’m his boyfriend in deed.
I also think that people do not only scan someone for queer idiosyncrasies. They try to pinpoint any behavioral attitude which could lead to draw the resolute conclusion that someone is, in fact, gay. My closest friends are not gay. They are actually straight. Something that they have had to deal with is people believe they are gay because they hang out with me. One of them has been addressed a my boyfriend on certain occasions. So, what is the thing my friends do in order to be labelled as gay? Is it the way that they act or the things they do?
So, this is a small list of things that my straight friends do which have led other people believe they are gay.
- Hugging a friend or gay friend is one which most people are not really content to look at. Since, showing affection to a person from the same sex is certainly gay. We, men, are not allowed to display out closeness to a fellow male which jeopardizing our masculinity.
- Hanging out with a gay dude is just the most dreadful exertion of friendship that a macho-like heterosexual man can do. ‘Oh Lord! He is gay!’–many people will unquestionably think about that man who decided to have some fun with his gay friend.
- Listening to pop divas music is just other fact which draws the line of who is or is not gay. COME ON! Music is music. Period. Some people get a little scared when they listen to the music I like. Obviously, Madonna, Cher, Xtina, Katy Perry, and Mariah Carey are part of favorite playlists. However, it doesn’t mean that I don’t listen to some rap and rock musicians. Most of my straight friends are rockers. But, funny fact, I caught them once listening to Lady Gaga, singing their heart out. Music is music. If it makes you happy, sing the song.
- Being stylish is just the gayest deed in the sacred book of Gays. For Christ’s sake! I’m gay and I’m not that stylist. I dress up like a twenty something skater. I love the way I dress. Au contraire, I have met some guy whose sense of style go beyond anything I have ever seen. They look clean, fashionable, well-put-together. Just a human-size Ken waiting to be snatched. Surprisingly, they are as macho as John Wayne, yet sleeker.
- Wanting to settle down apparently sorts a man out of the male-male pack. I have a friend whose goal in life has been to settle down as a married man. He has dreamed of having a wife, a child and a beautiful pet. He wants to have that. He is not bad-looking at all. Actually, he is handsome and sort of adorable. However, people expect him to behave as a “dog,” going from woman to woman with no desire to settle down and to slow down. I believe that some people might not believe that this is something a straight man would be identified as gay, but depending on the cultural background, he would.
There are other things that people would consider gay-like, such going to gay bars, taking dancing lessons, being not interested in sports and so on. But, at the end, there is not a certain way that we can act like to be who we are expected to become. We just do the things we like and we don’t need to be categorized as a certain type of people. The crayon box has as many crayon as we want to color our path of live the way we wish. We should stop trying to find a proper way to behave according to our congregation. Let’s stop making these silly assumptions of who is who is by the way he or she does things.