Once I was browsing a webpage, suddenly I came across with a poll. The poll asked if we, gay, were racists. The highest results were “More than other people” or “About the same as other people.” I wasn’t impressed by the results, yet puzzled. I guess voters misled their votes. They were not thinking about race or ethnic issues to set other people apart. I believe we are not racists. Well, I haven’t met a gay who is yet. Though we are something worse. We are derogatory.
The gay people I know, they care less about race. Some are actually attracted more to guys who are opposite to their ethnic. However, they care more about appearances, status and other people’s opinions about them. We are not racists. We are, at some point, submerged in the ancient game of “Who is Who” and “Who I Should Talk to Make Me Look Good.”
I have seen some of my friends being attracted to people who possess something, who dress in the latest trends and are aware of the newest fab, who have amazing bodies, and whom people look up to. For instance, once I was heading to meet up with a friend, while waiting for him to pick me up, an old acquaintance passed by. We talked a little while I was waiting. He is cute, but he doesn’t have a college degree, works in a coffee shop and dresses cheap. I love his company. He’s funny and a little wild. I enjoyed a lot talking to him because he always makes me laugh. So, when my friend arrived, we said goodbye. My acquaintance didn’t say hello or goodbye to my friend because he believes my friend is hollow and rude. When I got on the car, my friend looked at me and said, “You’d better change your friends.”
I laughed. Then, I added, “he is not my friend. He’s an old acquaintance.” I felt bad because I should have stood up for my acquaintance’s sake because I knew the derogatory comment my “friend” just made. I became part of the game as well. I can’t call my acquaintance a friend since we only meet when we cross path around town (that rarely happens). However, I should have done something. Maybe, I should have preached my friend about the scornful comments and attitude toward a really sweet guy.
After that episode, I made some meditation about my personal treat to other people. I do talk to this acquaintance, but he is cute. I don’t believe in physical ugliness, however, none of my friends are ugly. They are all cute. My female friends are really hot. So, my discriminating factor comes with physical appearance that I do it unconsciously, except for fatness. Unfortunately to my search of spiritual growth, I don’t befriend with fat people. My friends are not ripped hunks, but they are not fat either. I believe fatness comes from extreme laziness and lack of self-appreciation. I realized that when a fat person comes along, I go into an I-don’t-talk-to-fat-people mode. I don’t talk to him or her. I don’t throw humiliating comments at fat people either, but I just remained silent and never addressed them at all. This attitude might happen because my parents don’t like fatness. They have always commented ill about fat relatives and they always let us know if we were getting fat (I’m just looking for some redemption, I guess).
Another friend of mine cares a lot about status. He looks at people and browses from head to toe what the other is wearing. He knows about fashion and brand and prices. He is in search of some higher level in society (the best thing of all is that he comes from the ghetto. It’s cool and inspiring that he wants to move ahead in life, but he needs not to forget where he comes from.) He once told me that he felt depressed because he had lost all he had managed to achieve, just for letting himself be controlled by other person’s opinion. He said he was at his peak, and he rejects somehow where he is now. He lost his high status. He craves for power and money. He works really hard. But his mind is shadowed by incessantly wanting to have more to brag about. He cares about his status. He cares less what he can feel for other people.
I have other friend who doesn’t date unemployed people. He only dates people with college degree and jobs. He can’t stand a person without any sort of formal education at all. He always inquires, with a heavy tone of sarcasm mixed with abomination, how people don’t educate themselves. He never ponders on the fact that education is not a every person reach. For instance, he broke with his three-year-living-together boyfriend, just because he didn’t want to get a degree and he was comfortable where he was at that time.
I might believe that I am a little harsh with my kind. There are gay people out there who are not interested only in the physical appearance and social status. I have met a few. Though, they have their thing, as well.
We, gays, are not racist. Well, at least most of us. I believe it is because of being the underdog. We face discrimination all the time. But, we practice other type of discrimination. Also, I need to say that those attitudes are NOT specific of gay people. We acquired them from ALL people around us. But I feel that we are cruel with gay people and other people because of those attitudes.