Self-confidence VS Vanity: Is it OK?

Warning: I might sound cocky, or perhaps, just confident. 

self esteem

Yesterday, I had a staff meeting at work. We’ve been trying to solve issues in regards of the productivity and success at keeping our learners’ population. Yes, I’m a teacher. I work as an EFL teacher. Well, during this meeting, we were discussing possible and appealing solutions to overcome our present and future issues, that can lead us all to unemployment.

At some point during the meeting, my co-workers were determined to target my department as guilty of the current problems to the EFL department. It’s true that my department is the biggest and strongest, and the main goal of the institute lies on the effectiveness of my department’s performance. So, I got really upset since there are many factors that lead learners to leave, it’s not entirely my department’s fault. I became really angry because my department workmates were actually falling into the ping-fault game (throwing the fault ball to another fellow EFL coworker). I thought, ‘we need to stand up for our department, we need to show them what we are made of, and what we are actually doing.’ So, I took my chance. I raised my hand in order to take my turn into the game. But, I was determined to do something most people are scared off: BRAG ABOUT MY PERFORMANCE.

Teachers always talk about other teacher’s performance. So why I can’t talk about mine. (I’m not used to doing so, but I needed to raise my voice) I started talking about what I do for my learners and how well I’ve executed it. I went on talking about how hard I work for making my learners fall in love with my subject. Most people were looking at me, faces portraying astonishment, disapproval, envy and acceptance. But I didn’t care. I went on for five minutes. I did also congratulate some EFL fellows because of their great job so far. I didn’t feel good because I’m not the type of person who goes around talking about my accomplishments. I just leave my work talks for itself. Besides, my learners also do such work by spreading the word. Nonetheless, I was not going to allow some lethargic underachievers.

I’m good at what I do. Perhaps, I’m really good. Not excellent, because I still have lots to learn to reach the degree of excellency. So, being confident about something you are doing is great seems as a undeniable sing of vanity or just confident?

Being capable of addressing oneself as good or great by keeping oneself portray to other unharmed by vanity and narcissism is not easy. People don’t like listening about how good you are and how great you have been at certain tasks. They feel upset, despised, and humiliated by such comments. But if they feel like that, it’s just because they don’t do anything to be great. They just wait for the check to come and to be able to keep themselves away from unemployment lines.  Lazy people hate those who work hard and try to build a reputation. Portraying vanity as something hateful and ill is an excuse for those incapable of achieving their personal goals, allowing them to keep playing safe, yet restraining those who still have a desire and have received their calling.  So, I didn’t stop myself defending when some other people try to make me look bad. I’m engaged with my profession and with what I’m able to achieve through it. It’s my calling. I won’t let people who just show up to work without caring about the repercussions their inability to engage in doing something good.

My personal skills help me everyday to conquer anything I need to face in order to fulfill my day’s objective. I don’t regret what I did yesterday, standing up and portraying myself as an employer who cares about his job and the results that I will secure to happen. I just regret that I must show up to work, in a place where most people are concerned about what other people do than what they actually do.

Therefore, vanity is just a degree of confidence. But, l won’t let me fool me, because vanity always comes with a lesson of humbleness. When that lesson comes is harder than we can deal with. I lived it one. So, I keep my vanity on the grounds of confidence and not cockiness.

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